


Disruption - a poem

by Legendary-Destiel (Legendary_Royalty)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: But it's too late, Castiel crying, M/M, castiel doesn't forgive anymore, dean regrets it, dean winchester crying, destiel poem, me crying ..haha, of course he does, poem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-06
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2020-01-05 18:28:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18371663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Legendary_Royalty/pseuds/Legendary-Destiel
Summary: Dean Winchester said "You're dead to me" to Castiel. Castiel disappears and Sam is looking for him. Castiel is done with the Winchesters.A little poem to express my feelings about the promo for Supernatural 14x18. Even though noone knows yet what it's all about, i thought it's a nice, angsty base for a fictional bunch of words.





	Disruption - a poem

**Disruption**

There he was  
Finally he found him  
In the corner of the room  
Looking tortured, beaten, broken  
Startled with a gasp  
As Sammy shut the door  
  
Endless sadness lingered in his clear blue eyes  
And hell, they looked like blue skies on a rainy day  
Because this mighty angel of the lord  
Was truly crying, uncontrolled  
Right here, in front of him

A stained face, wet and dirty  
Reddish scratches on his vessel's skin  
He must have done that to himself  
Light of dim but holy grace  
Almost shining through

An unbearable sight, caused by so much damn stupidity  
Kneeling down to lay a hand  
On the angels trembling shoulder  
“Cas…” he said as calmly as he could  
“…he didn’t mean to say that, sure.  
He sometimes… just looses it,  
And then regrets what he just said…”

“No.”  
The angel answered heavy-voiced  
“This time something in him really broke  
I could feel it through the bond.  
But I’m tired of excusing, because I always tried to save you  
Keeping you from harm and devastation  
So this is what I get.  
This is it now.”

Cas stood up, suddenly stopped shaking  
A shade of strange conviction in his eyes  
And with a silent downfall of dark lashes  
His face was plain and dry again  
Pushing Sam’s hand right off his shoulder  
Firmly standing tall and ready  
To take this leave, long overdue

“Cas, wait - where are you going?”  
Sam mumbled sadly to his chest  
Afraid of every answer  
Afraid to look into those burning eyes

“I am leaving. And no, I won’t return.  
Not tomorrow, not in years.  
Maybe I’ll lead your souls to heaven  
if the right time should ever come  
But as I see it, you don’t need me anymore

Dean… doesn’t need me anymore  
Such a broken bond can not be fixed  
My mission to be his guardian  
I hereby lay to rest

So let it end here, Samuel  
Cause you don’t treat a celestial being just like that  
And even worse - someone you actually call a _friend_  
Let me remind you, I am no toy or tool  
Only here by chance, to be pushed around then  
Called only when you maybe need me  
To save the world once more  
  
No.  
This is the end of our story  
I’ll go back to heaven – trying to safe what’s left of it  
And mankind may be lucky tho - to have you  
But I can’t join you any longer  
My grace and wings will never heal  
When I’m constantly in pain down here  
To deal with your unworthy problems  
I serve a greater good, angels, heaven and the balance  
But remember one thing  
I certainly no longer serve _you_.”

With these last words he disappeared  
Leaving an empty spot of icy air behind  
Nothing left to say  
Nothing left to feel  
As Sam broke down on the bed  
Thinking of words he could tell his brother  
Who was rushing in the room now

Shouting out so loud  
“ _Where is he_!?”  
Horror in his eyes  
He knew that his angel was gone  
The moment he saw his brother’s face  
Freezing chills of painful recognition taking over  
Gripping firmly ‘round his heart and soul  
And the feeling of the shattered pieces of the holy bond  
Made him almost choke on the last doubtlessness  
That he’s gone forever this time  
No chance to excuse and begging for forgiveness  
This was just too much

He destroyed it all  
He knew it  
The moment the words came bubbling out  
His stupid mouth  
He knew it  
The moment he looked in these blue eyes  
Endless skies  
In which he used to drown  
Just to see this brokenness  
He knew it  
Just because the delicately shining, mental bond  
Between soul and grace  
He could not feel it anymore  
The ribbon was torn, tattered, cut  
And the shreds were lingering in his soul

He knew it then  
He never will forget  
He never will forgive himself  
For killing the last straw of hope  
For himself to be loved by someone  
So beautiful and bright  
It hurt on an immeasurable level  
The disruption of a legendary bond  
One of a kind, it was  
Destined to shine across stars, lifetimes, universes

So Dean closed his eyes and knew it then  
What it’s really like  
To be alive, yet feeling so damn dead  
Abandoned hearts are easily currupted  
By black holes of dark emotions  
Where there’s nothing left to feel  
Just what it’s really like  
To be left all alone.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this guys! For me as a Destiel-shipper it was so painful to carry my thoughts about the promo of 14x18 inside so i tried to write my feelings down. :-))))  
> *hugs*!


End file.
